The teen version of Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, encourages parents to discover their teen’s unique way of receiving love and then find effective ways to communicate that love. As a parent, understanding the love language of your daughter helps you to address her emotional needs, promote healthy communication and express love in a manner she will receive and appreciate. These five love languages include quality time, physical touch, encouraging words, gifts and acts of service.
Quality Time
When your daughter’s love language is quality time, she regularly desires your complete attention without the disruption of phone calls, the television or other distractions. Whether you spend precious time together on a planned outing or you sit close on the couch holding a meaningful conversation, staying both physically and emotionally involved with your daughter conveys a strong sense of love to her. When your daughter recognizes your busy lifestyle, and still sees you making her a priority, she feels special.
Physical Touch
If your daughter responds best to physical touch, hugging, cuddling, putting an arm around her, holding her hand, and touching her thoughtfully on the arm or face will speak deeply to her. Physical touch loudly and clearly communicates to your teen that she belongs and is loved. When you remain physically present and accessible to your daughter, she feels secure in her relationship with you.
Words of Affirmation
Do kind and positive words make your daughter light up or mean the world to her? A resounding ‘yes’ likely means that her love language is words of affirmation. Supply her with plenty of heart-felt compliments, encouragement and praise through both spoken and written communication. She thrives in a loving, word-filled environment and needs to hear the words, “I love you,” often. She desires to hear what she is doing right, so build her up often, especially in front of others.
Receiving Gifts
Your daughter might especially enjoy gifts and delight in the love, care and effort you put into the presents that you give her. The love language of receiving gifts goes way beyond your daughter seeming materialistic; she considers a gift to her a visual demonstration of the love that you have for her. A thoughtless, last minute gift or the absence of a gift, especially on an important day, would crush your daughter, making her feel unloved and unimportant. A well-chosen gift communicates to her that you listen, that you know what she likes and that you willingly put in the time and effort to please her.
Acts of Service
If your daughter feels most loved when you do things for her, acts of service describes your teen’s love language. Although the words “I love you” hold meaning for your daughter, she needs action from you to back up your words. Always try your best to follow through on what you say you will do for her. If your teen maintains an active schedule, and you surprise her by lifting a burden off her, such as making her lunch for school or doing her laundry, she hears you saying that you see her effort, that you are proud of her and that you love her enough to help her out.
To learn more about ways you can connect with and help your teenage daughter, explore our website or call us at 877-830-7012.
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Eric Allred was born and raised in Rigby, Idaho. He grew up on a family farm where he learned the value of work. He graduated from Rigby High School and attended Rick’s College, now known as BYU-Idaho. He received his bachelor’s degree in journalism from Utah State University, received a master’s degree in organizational behavior and human relations from the University of Phoenix and a second master’s degree in marital and family therapy from Phillips Graduate Institute. Eric has been involved in Rotary and was president of a local Rotary Club. He enjoys being with his family and doing outdoor activities such as fly fishing.
Chase was very fortunate to start in this industry as a struggling 17 year old kid looking for a mentor and something to be passionate about. Wilderness therapy was Chase’s first stop in this industry and was truly a transcendental experience for him. Chase has an enormous love for this line of work and the power that it has in creating change in everyone involved. Chase’s biggest belief is the power a mentor, strong, healthy relationships, and accountability can have on anyone, especially youth. Taking a very relational approach to his work, Chase has always been very relatable to the students he works with. Being able to understand and relate to a vast variety of the same struggles as a lot of the students he works with has been able to help him continue to grow, learn, and teach. Chase believes that with great rapport and trust, he can use his experience to continue to coach and train new staff, and has the ability to find those staff with the passion for this industry, and help them grow. His love and passion can be felt the moment you talk with Chase about this industry and he passes that on to others he works with. In his spare time you will find Chase cheering for the Eagles, Yankees, and Mavericks, hanging out with his brother, learning more about Eastern Psychology, and continuing to grow and learn.