Have you ever heard someone insult another by calling them “sensitive?” How about “a baby” or “dramatic?” Of course you have. It’s because we live in a world that rewards toughness and discourages displays of emotion or sensitivity, which are seen as signs of weakness. If you’re a mature adult or the CEO of a major company, this reaction may make sense. But being a teenage girl in this world is a significant difficulty.
Teen Sensitivity
Part of the experience of puberty is feeling new and powerful emotions. Often this can mean a lack of control over these emotions, or being surprised by how many situations, comments, or actions of others deeply affect you. Nearly all teen girls experience this new wave of sensitivity to some extent as they press on to adulthood, and some girls experience it in heavy and sometimes crippling ways.
As a rational, mature adult, it can be incredibly difficult to parent a sensitive teen. We want to say things like “It’s not that big of a deal!” or “Just get over it!” or “Why are you so sensitive?” Unfortunately, this can seriously damage the relationship and only hurt your sensitive daughter further. So what can you do?
Learning to Embrace Your Sensitive Daughter
The first step is to accept that she truly is sensitive – she’s experiencing powerful and sometimes unknown emotions that are difficult to overcome or control. Allow her to be upset; allow her to cry! Resist the urge to dismiss or shut down her sensitive episodes, though it is difficult.
The most vital step is just to be there for her. Be around when she needs you. Listen carefully when she wants to complain, despair, or rage. Hug her when she cries or hold her hand to show affection and closeness. This presence combined with continued parenting to help her learn skills for adulthood will allow you to successfully complete the last step – finding solutions together.
It’s tempting to solve all her problems or tell her exactly what she should do, but often sensitive teen girls need to work through the emotions and come up with their own solutions. There are various ways to help her with solutions, such as suggestions, role-playing, and positive affirmations. Overall, your sensitive daughter should take control of her life and make her own decisions.
If your sensitive daughter appears to have deeper, more permanent issues, or you’re finding yourself unequal to the task of supporting her frequent emotional needs – she may need more help than you can offer. Professional help is available for sensitive or troubled teen girls that can help them manage their emotions and become healthy adults.
Think Havenwood Might Be For You?
We encourage any visitors considering placing their daughter in treatment to fill out our online assessment as soon as possible. This two minute form will give our admissions team all the information needed to determine if your daughter is a good fit for our program.
Eric Allred was born and raised in Rigby, Idaho. He grew up on a family farm where he learned the value of work. He graduated from Rigby High School and attended Rick’s College, now known as BYU-Idaho. He received his bachelor’s degree in journalism from Utah State University, received a master’s degree in organizational behavior and human relations from the University of Phoenix and a second master’s degree in marital and family therapy from Phillips Graduate Institute. Eric has been involved in Rotary and was president of a local Rotary Club. He enjoys being with his family and doing outdoor activities such as fly fishing.
Chase was very fortunate to start in this industry as a struggling 17 year old kid looking for a mentor and something to be passionate about. Wilderness therapy was Chase’s first stop in this industry and was truly a transcendental experience for him. Chase has an enormous love for this line of work and the power that it has in creating change in everyone involved. Chase’s biggest belief is the power a mentor, strong, healthy relationships, and accountability can have on anyone, especially youth. Taking a very relational approach to his work, Chase has always been very relatable to the students he works with. Being able to understand and relate to a vast variety of the same struggles as a lot of the students he works with has been able to help him continue to grow, learn, and teach. Chase believes that with great rapport and trust, he can use his experience to continue to coach and train new staff, and has the ability to find those staff with the passion for this industry, and help them grow. His love and passion can be felt the moment you talk with Chase about this industry and he passes that on to others he works with. In his spare time you will find Chase cheering for the Eagles, Yankees, and Mavericks, hanging out with his brother, learning more about Eastern Psychology, and continuing to grow and learn.