Teenage children can get on your nerves. Of course, you love them, but they are going through hormonal changes that can make them irritable. It can be a lot to handle as a parent. This is an age when your child needs specific attention and patience. It can feel impossible to remain calm when talking with an angsty teenager, but learning to have patience and build a better relationship can help.
The teen years are crucial for your child’s development. They are at a delicate stage in their lives where they are learning decision-making skills, independence, responsibility, and how to build relationships. Although you know your teen is full of potential, sometimes their behaviors can get on your nerves. That is understandable, but losing your cool won’t help either of you. Creating a positive learning and growing environment for your teenager will help them build character, self-love, and awareness.
Understanding Your Teenager
A significant aspect of remaining calm even with a problematic teenager is understanding them. That can be difficult as they may not fully understand themselves. As your child develops, their brain changes, which can come with mood swings and unpredictability.
The relationship you share with your teenager guides them in the rest of their relationships, so ensuring it is filled with respect and patience is vital. If your relationship is strained, it can affect your teen’s academics, relationships, and future. Being a parent isn’t easy, but striving to create a bond built on trust, patience, and understanding is essential.
Developing Patience With Your Teen
Your teenager is at a point in their life where they feel things deeply. Every inconvenience may feel like the end of the world. When you’re already stressed with work, other kids, bills, etc., being patient with your hormonal teenager can feel like a tall order.
When your teen is lashing out, you lashing back only escalates the situation. Instead, meet their storm with calm. Some tips to help you practice patience include:
- Remember who you’re dealing with: Expect emotional outbursts from your teenager and understand that it comes with their age.
- Understand where they’re coming from: Know their intention is not to bother you but to regain some control over their lives. Try to negotiate rules and limits so they feel heard and are more likely to follow them because they were involved in the decision and see the rules as fair.
- Listen to your teenager: You may disagree with their opinions and feel you know better. Instead of arguing, hear your teen out, validate their feelings, and make yourself a safe space for them to express themselves and talk through issues with guidance, not force.
- Be supportive: The teen years are when children begin to develop more independence. It can be hard to let go, especially when you want to be up on everything they’re doing. As they mature and build more independence, they deserve more privacy. Support their independence and dreams and let them know you’re there if they need help.
Improving Your Relationship With Your Teenager
Every parent-teen relationship is different, but there are always ways to improve your bond. You must realize that your teen is growing up; they are no longer a child. Protecting them from life’s realities will only set them back. Improving your relationship with your teenagers starts with being open and honest. Having deep conversations, even about topics that make you uncomfortable, shows your teen that you trust them, know they can handle it, and want to make sure they have room to express themselves.
Whether it be disturbing news, a traumatic event, or your teen’s anxieties, check in with your teen. Avoiding challenging subjects only tells them you aren’t willing to go deep with them. Remember, you are leading by example, so the more open you are, the more open they will be.
Let them feel their feelings. It is natural to want to comfort your child when they’re hurting, but asking them to “get over” something is not healthy. Allow them to grieve, cry, or be angry. It is a natural part of confronting emotions and working through them. Remind them that their feelings are valid and the pain won’t last forever.
Respect your teenager’s feelings and reactions. It can be hard to have a respectful relationship with your teenager. They may lash out and say rude things to you, but doing the same back pulls you into a dysfunctional and unhealthy cycle. Showing them respect tells them that they deserve it and that it goes both ways. You don’t need to agree with how they handle things, but respecting them will allow them to trust you and come to you when they need help.
Parenting a teenager is filled with lots of love and distress. You want to protect them, but letting them make mistakes helps them learn and grow, even if it hurts a little. If your relationship with your teenager is suffering for any reason, you can improve that bond through patience and understanding. At Havenwood Academy, we help teen girls recover from trauma and mental health issues. Our team focuses on family therapy so that both you and your child can benefit from professional care and insight. We want you to be involved in your child’s treatment so that the whole family can learn and grow together. By incorporating multi-level care and treatment in our facility, we help teenagers improve their social skills, behaviors, and wellness with your involvement. Call us at (435) 586-2500 now so we can get you and your family on the right path.
Think Havenwood Might Be For You?
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