It’s normal to get angry. Anger management tools are useful for everyone, but when anger becomes frequent and/or out of control, they become a necessity.
It’s not uncommon for teenagers to experience more frequent or more intense bouts of anger as they grow older. Their bodies are changing, growing into adults. Expectations are higher, pressures mount, hormones surge and something’s got to give. But there’s a line between what is typical and what isn’t, and when your teen crosses it, it’s time to get help.
What’s the Standard?
What do is expected when someone is angry? Yelling? Cursing? Name-calling? Throwing things? Breaking things? Physical violence? How do you deal with anger in your house? Chances are, however you deal with it may be how your teen deals with it. Parents and family are children’s most influential role models in their younger years. But once they hit the teen years, friends edge out family as influences. Maybe you’ve always dealt with anger calmly in your house, but your teen is keeping company with people who enjoy fighting. It’s important to know who your teen is modeling her behavior after.
Everyone needs a minimum amount of self-awareness and self-control in order to be able to handle anger, and teens can be deficient in both these areas. The first step in successfully managing anger is to learn acceptable coping techniques. When you feel a flash of anger inside of yourself, it’s a good idea to stop and take a moment before lashing out. Ask yourself why you are angry and contemplate the consequences of our possible responses. This is difficult for adults, so it is often even more difficult for teens.
What Drives It?
In some cases, your teen may be angry about something she views as unfair — rules, consequences, or other people’s behavior toward her or judgment of her. Sometimes her anger is justified. Is she angry because you reminded her that she couldn’t go out until she practiced piano, or is she angry that her best friend didn’t invite her to her birthday party and is spreading rumors about her? If your teen has been the target of bullying, harassment (sexual or otherwise), assault or any other behavior that makes her feel powerless or victimized, help is needed to restore her self-esteem, confidence and sense of personal power.
The reasons for anger are many and the truth is that it is not always possible to know why a teen is angry, because she will not always talk about it. Warning signs of a problem include anger over little things, increasing displays, intensity or frequency of anger, physical violence or destroying property, or any changes to suggest the problem is growing. The reason could be a disturbing or traumatic event, it could be a chemical imbalance or she may need behavioral modification. Havenwood can help with anger management. Their qualified therapists and proven techniques have helped dozens of girls with anger management issues learn to deal with problems and disappointments calmly and rationally, preparing them to function more effectively in challenging situations.