problems display all kinds of outward manifestations of defiance toward authority; resenting any form of authority. “Authority” can anyone or anything associated with rules, regulations, supervision, procedures, instructions, accountability, or responsibility.
As your daughter enters the Havenwood Academy program she will continue to defy authority and rebel against and the rules of our program. This is usual and typical behavior. However, over time as she progresses through the program she will come to realize that “authority” is not necessarily bad. As a matter of fact, she will learn that authority figures play a logical and productive part in her life. She will learn that her happiness (security) and fulfillment (success) is directly related to how she interacts with authority.
Your daughter will come to realize that there are a few “givens” that will never change in life. One, is authority. We are all under authority, and we all have to learn to respect and trust authority, or pay the cost. Those that don’t learn to respect the value and power of authority usually end up with a life of loss and regret.
For example, she will learn that it takes great strength and character to submit to authority, and through submission to authority she will ultimately gain authority (control) over her life. What we expect is that through the course of the program your daughter will change her perspective on authority, especially the authority of her parents and teachers. She will begin to respect authority in order to become the authority over herself.
Defiance toward authority usually starts with defying authority at home (parents) and school (teachers), and if gone unchecked authority issues progress to other authoritiy figures, including law enforcement. In regard to defiant teenagers the manifestation of defiance, anger, and disrespect (causing termendous conflict) usually begins at home as the defiant teen acts out toward parents and siblings. There are underlying reasons that cause authority problems in the home.
images 16Entitlement can only take place when the defiant troubled teen masters techniques of emotional manipulation. When troubled teens learn to manipulate their parents through guilt and fear, a pattern begins. This pattern usually includes emotional blackmail and emotional extortion (“…if I don’t get my way I am going to…”). Caring and loving parents are manipulated (intimidated) into giving in to the manipulative teen in order to keep the peace and solve the immediate crisis. Parents and siblings learn to “walk on eggshells” to avoid a conflict.
Some teenagers, for whatever reason, struggle with intense emotional problems; break up of a relationship, rejection, abuse, poor school performance, etc. They may become defiant toward authority figures as a “cry for help”. These teens are confused, hurting, and they don’t trust authority. Unfortunately, teens that do not trust authority reject the very help they cry out to receive.
Authority problems with troubled teens may manifest in the form of repeated truancies, violence, theft, drug offenses and more. A teen may be struggling with ADHD, ADD, Bipolar Disorder, ODD or a number of other issues. A good therapist or counselor can help to determine if the problem is with the teen, the teen’s environment or with an issue that is triggering inappropriate behaviors. At Havenwood Academy one of our licensed therapists will evaluate the severity of the issues with your teenager and address them in individual, group and family therapy sessions.
Enrolling your daughter into Havenwood Academy is an act of commitment and love. Some parents feel a tremendous sense of guilt. To enroll your daughter into Havenwood Academy is a tremendous act of love, and not an act of frustration or failure. It is an opportunity for you to be at peace with your decision, and allow us to partner with you through this healing process. Havenwood Academy is an opportunity for your teenage daughter to grow academically, interpersonally, and therapeutically beyond the current situation.
Reaching out to Havenwood Academy is a sign of strength and love for your daughter. You are affirming that you are not willing to see her continue on a path that leads to broken relationships in the family, in school or encounters with law enforcement.